Unveil My Misery
by shizzical
Summary: OotP SPOILERS! Sirius has been trapped behind the veil for quite a while. Everyone fears he is dead. But what if his unknown love for a certain someone kept him alive? Will Hermione return his feelings, or will he live in misery forever? SxH R&R!
1. Prologue

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Unveil My Misery

by **ilukaiba**

Disclaimer: I own nothing… blech…

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Prologue

Sirius' POV

You think you're life sucks, don't you. I mean, there you are, sitting happily staring at one of those strange muggle devices… a comter? Whatever the hell you call them… Yeah, well at least you're not me. I thought the worst had come when I was born into a family of vengeful bastards… but now I see that that was just a mere paper cut compared to this hell-hole.

No seriously, it is a hell-hole. See one second I was fighting with my bitch of a cousin, Bella… Merlin's beard she better be in Azkaban right now or I will kill myself.

Scratch that, I think I'm dead already.

I've been stuck in this dark place for at least a month. It all started when I was with the rest of the Order, kicking some major Death Eater ass. It was like a game to me, it only took a few spells and hexes and those punks were down. But Bella, she took me by surprise.

I don't know what she cast on me. It's strange how I, graduating as one of the best students in my year at Hogwarts, am not able to tell you what spell that she used on me. Must have been some spiffy Death Eater spell… damn them.

It wasn't the Killing Curse, that's for sure. See, when I was hit with it, I was overcome with all sorts of strange emotions, I felt like I was crazy. And then I fell… endlessly… through this never-ending hole. You probably think I'm delirious. I probably am. But now, as I sit here alone in the darkness, I feel so lost… I've tried standing up, walking… but I just seem to move with no purpose, I don't go anywhere.

I walked for like five hours the other day. There was nothing in sight. Just blackness. After I got tired, I sat down. It was then I realized I was in the same exact place where I started.

I wonder if I'll ever get out of here. I don't have a wand, so I can't even try to use magic to help me.

I can't even kill myself, assuming I'm still alive. This is such torcher, more pain than I've ever felt before.

Now I'm even starting to wish I was back in Azkaban… nothing can be worse than this shit.

I miss them. I miss ol' Moony and Harry and Hermione and Ron and…

It hurts to think. But what else can I do? It's not easy to stop thinking. It's not easy to do anything down here… or up here… or whatever…

Fuck this place.

I plunge my hands in the pockets of my robes. Maybe I'll find a damned piece of lint to keep me busy.

Or a ribbon.

A ribbon?! What the hell is a ribbon doing in my pocket. Oh yeah, I remember now. Hermione gave everyone a ribbon… good luck she said.

Yeah some luck I'm having now. Sitting in the darkness with a ribbon.

It's about five inches long… six inches long… eight inches long… twelve inches long?! What the hell, the damned thing is growing.

My brain is starting to go, I mean, a growing ribbon?!

Stupid ribbon. Piece of shit. I'm pissed. I'm ripping it up now. Fucking ribbon, why couldn't you be useful, I yell. I toss the pieces on the ground. 

Hope they burn in hell. Like me. But wait. There's this odd sort of smoke coming from them. Some sort of purplish haze. I reach out to it, to feel it.

And then I fall to a dead faint.

~ ~ ~

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A/N Strange eh? Sorta depressing. Remember folks, this is the PROLOGUE! Chapters will probably be longer than this and it will probably not be in Sirius' POV after this. You know, the rest of the story will probably be in third person. But I might do some first person.

At least **10-15 reviews** before I continue.

If you know what the hell I'm talking about, congrats.

Visit my new site! ^^ It's called the Magic Wand. freewebs.com/hpmw (that's the URL no da)

And read my three other HP fics ^^ They're not bad…

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THIS IS A SIRIUSxHERMIONE FIC PEOPLE!

((This is the part where you submit a review))


	2. Chapter 1

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Unveil My Misery

by **ilukaiba**

Disclaimer: I own nothing… blech…

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Chapter 1

The Hogwarts Express rode merrily on its tracks, contrasting to the feelings of the students in Harry's compartment.

Crowded inside it were Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.

Not one of them had a smile on their faces.

Each was mourning the passing of Sirius Black.

Harry's eyes were a bit red from crying all summer. Sirius had meant so much to him. And now he was gone. Harry blamed the death on him. After all, it was partially his fault. HE fell for Kreacher's trick, HE didn't open the present Sirius had given him that might have helped him contact him.

Ron was depressed too. Sirius had always been there for them. Ever since they had first met him. However, he hadn't cried much that summer. Ron never really cried.

Ginny did though. She had known him for a shorter amount of time. He was funny and friendly. Just as she was beginning to know him better, he died. Like that.

Hermione sat in silence. She had been sobbing in her room all summer. But what confused her, was why. She was great friends with Sirius. But that summer, she cried so much. She cried more than she would have cried if her parents had died. And she didn't seem to understand why.

Just hearing his name hurt. Her heart ached, her head ached, it was hard to breathe. She sat in denial for months, waiting to see his friendly face outside the window, with a mischievous smile.

But that was all just a memory now. He was gone. The train chugged on, school was going to start. Realization was the worst part of growing up. And she felt she had aged years in those few months.

And breaking the silence of the compartment, a muffled sob was emitted from her grieving self. Suddenly, the tears flowed endlessly, and her three friends stared at her.

Harry's eyes teared up again too, as did Ginny. Even Ron's vision got blurry, and soon, all four of them were crying for their departed friend.

But it was nothing compared to Hermione. She cried as if she had died herself.

None of the other students dared to visit their compartment. Not even Draco Malfoy could bare to walk in to the compartment of his enemys when they were so depressed they could barely frown at him.

The train ride was longer than it had ever been before. As it came to a stop at the Hogwarts station, the four wiped their eyes and walked out, not bothering to greet friends from past years.

~ ~ ~

Albus Dumbledore sat in his office. Looking at the time, he prepared for his yearly speech. His concentration was interrupted by a strange feeling that suddenly went through his body.

He smiled for the first time in months.

With a quiet whisper, he voiced his thoughts. "The brightest star shines once again."

~ ~ ~

Sirius Black opened his eyes drowsily. The world spun around him and he tried to steady himself.

"Where the hell am I?!" he thought. Suddenly his eyesight was focused again and he gasped.

The Department of Mysteries surrounded him.

He pinched himself. He flinched slightly. He felt his pinch.

"Thank you Merlin!" he murmured, "Black is back!"

~ ~ ~

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A/N Okay maybe I lied a little… I was too lazy to write any more… And anyway, that was a great line to end this chapter with. Yay, rejoice people, Black is back! Yesss! So anyways, what's up with that strange ribbon? Beats me… maybe I'll think of something by the end of the fic… -_-;;

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Review Responses…

Maven: Oooooh I continued… don't hex me!!

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Beck Ul Copt: Oooooh I know I know!! More SxH fics are needed! Please, I beg you reviewers, write a SxH fic and tell me!

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Ryunne Inverse: I know!!!! It is rather depressing, eh…

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Kendra Meadows: I will try NOT to give up on this fic… school starts soon so when it does, updates will be less frequent.

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Other reviewers: Thanks for reviewing and keep reviewing, 10-15 reviews till next update!

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((This is the part where you submit a review))


	3. Chapter 2

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Unveil My Misery

by **ilukaiba**

Disclaimer: I own nothing… blech…

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Chapter 2

Eager students piled in to the Great Hall, ready to begin a new school year at their second home, Hogwarts. There was barely any conversation involving the death of Sirius Black; people could care less. Barely anybody even knew about the happenings at the Ministry that day, it was kept very secretive. Weeks after, the Minister, Fudge, had declared Sirius Black innocent. But since years had passed since the Potters' death, nobody really cared.

Harry and his friends walked up to their seats dismally. As far as they could see, there was no reason for celebration.

Ron and Ginny were beginning to lighten up after seeing Hogwarts once again. But Harry and Hermione felt otherwise. They sat in silence, not listening, not understanding. Even when Ron asked Harry if he had any idea when Quidditch practice was starting and Ginny asked Hermione how many O.W.L.s she had passed, neither spoke a word.

And then came time for the Headmaster's speech, and all but two heads turned toward the teacher's table.

"I'd like to welcome you all back to Hogwarts. There are many new things that have been brought to my attention."

But what those new things were, Hermione didn't know. Tears still streamed down her cheeks. Before she knew it, food appeared on the tables. For the first time ever, Hermione Granger hadn't memorized the welcoming speech. She hadn't even joined in the thunderous applause that had taken place in the Gryffindor table when it was announced that Remus Lupin was once again the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

Aside from the two bites of chicken she took before dissolving into tears again, Hermione hadn't eaten anything.

This wasn't the case with Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who could never resist a good meal in the worst situations.

After the feast, the four friends walked to their common room. Ron, Ginny, and Harry, who was determined to try and forget about Sirius, were attempting to have a spirited discussion about the O.W.L.s with Hermione.

And it failed miserably.

So, deciding it was best to let her try and work out her feelings by herself, Harry, Ron, and Ginny began to talk amongst themselves about Quidditch, while Hermione merely walked to the dormitory and headed off to bed.

~ ~ ~

In the meantime, Sirius Black sneaked out of the Ministry. Even though his name had been cleared, he wanted to consult Dumbledore about his miraculous escape before revealing himself. He apparated back to his house and was about to enter it until he realized how bad an idea that was.

"Damn." he muttered, realizing that if he entered, he'd probably find himself in some sort of trap. After all, after Kreacher's previous misdeed, there was no telling what else the cruel house-elf would do to get rid of Sirius.

He apparated once more, this time to Lupin's small apartment in the heart of London. It was obviously empty. There was no sign of Lupin anywhere. On the small desk in the corner lay a letter, and Sirius picked it up to read it.

__

Remus-

Once again, it seems impossible to get a decent Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. However I have bargained with the Ministry and it Cornelius has agreed that you may once again teach at Hogwarts. Of course it used a little persuasion on my part… Please do accept this job, you are by far one of the best D.A.D.A. professors that Hogwarts has had in a rather long while. Thanks for your consideration.

Also, the new HQ for the OP are unknown, please tell Alastor that for me, as I am unable to contact him.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Sirius smiled slightly. "Good ol' Moony's got the job back." he said with a grin.

Suddenly an owl flew in through the window. It dropped a letter on the desk and flew off.

Sirius looked at it. It was for him. He tore it open and read the letter.

__

I realize you are alive. However I am still unsure as to why. I know you are curious about it, but I'm afraid I shall have to do some "research". Please try not to reveal yourself in public until I inform you otherwise. You are welcome to come to Hogwarts. You may stay in Hagrid's hut, as he has left with his dog, Fang, to do some work for me. Remus is here, but he doesn't know. Neither does Harry. I am the only one who is aware that you are alive. Please try not to tell anyone if you haven't already. I'll be seeing you soon.

-Albus

Sirius looked at the letter and sighed. "I guess whatever he says goes," he muttered, though he'd much rather tell Harry and Remus. 

About an hour later, a large black dog slightly resembling a bear apparated into a large marshy area, just outside of Hogwarts.

With a familiar feeling of excitement in its heart, the dog sneaked onto the grounds and into Hagrid's Hut, which conveniently enough, had the door slightly opened for him. Changing back into his human form, he locked it behind him and closed the shutters.

He began to scribble a note.

__

Albus-

In hut.

-Someone

He grinned sheepishly at his pathetically written note. He wanted to keep it short and hard to understand in case it was intercepted, but even he believed it to be ridiculous. However, knowing that Albus Dumbledore could understand anything, he sent it to the castle with a small owl.

Looking around his temporary home, he felt excitement once again.

"FOOD!" he cried softly, as he ran to the small pantry and fixed himself a meal.

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~ ~ ~

A/N

Awwww ain't he adorable? He wants food… so do I… -_-;; Anyways, I am ASTOUNDED with the amount of reviews I have been getting… I guess I am not the only Sirius fan out there…

So because of that, I have an urgent plea to all of you. Well two actually. Number one: keep reviewing. And number two: go to this website: littlemisswebmaster.co.uk/sirius Sign the Memorial book with thoughts on Sirius' death. Be aware that it will eventually be sent to Ms. Rowling! Maybe it'll make her revive Sirius! Please sign it!

Also, updates are going to be less frequent for all of my fics now, since my school is starting shortly. So please review, maybe 20 reviews before updates now…

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Review Responses:

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Kendra Meadows: Awww I feel loved… er liked… lolz ^^

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shattered-destiny1: Why does everyone wanna hex me?!… *sniffle* Lolz I updated so don't hex me…

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LateroseMartin: I have absolutely NO idea…

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poetbrit: Things will be explained at the end…

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flic, Rouge Mage: Lolz the "Black is back" line just seems like the kinda thing he would say…

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Everyone else: Keep reviewing and maybe I'll respond… ^^

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	4. Chapter 3

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Unveil My Misery

by **ilukaiba**

Disclaimer: I own nothing… blech…

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Chapter 3

The next morning came so fast and Hermione literally fell out of bed as she felt the rays of sunlight coming in. There were trash bags under her eyes, having tossed and turned imagining Sirius' death over and over again. However, she had no time to waste; she hurriedly got dressed and got her things together, and after applying a bit of face makeup to conceal her trash bags, she set off to the Great Hall.

And once she got there, she saw the familiar faces of Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who were all seated at the Gryffindor table eating their breakfast. Hermione couldn't help but stare disapprovingly at Harry, who was eating like a pig. Of course, he wasn't the only one; Ron must have gotten through at least three plates of omelet.

Harry, however, showed no signs of being depressed. Hermione believed, though, that he was just trying to act "macho" over the tragedy. After all, it is very stereotypical in that sixteen year old boys never cry.

Hermione sighed with a mixture of sleep and annoyance and sat down next to him. She served herself some porridge (which she claimed was a little less work for the poor house elves) and began to take small spoonfuls of it.

"Sho yasink gha upinsh crash ish gonna bfe anhee betcha zchen thiradee?" asked Ron, spitting out mouthfuls of omelet at a very annoyed Harry Potter.

Ginny stared at her revolting brother and squirmed, as if so disgusted to be of any relation. Hermione also looked at him with a rather "Mrs. Weasley" look.

As for Harry, amidst all of the small pieces of omelet that now clashed with his brand new robes, he answered. "Dunno… I mean… now he probably feels more confident of being… a… you know but he might be… sad…"

Ginny and Hermione averted their stare to Harry, who grinned back at them.

"Translation?" asked Ginny.

"I shed-" began Ron, before being slapped on the forehead by a very annoyed Hermione.

"WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!"

"_Harry_, may we have a translation."

"Surely." said the boy-who-lived-to-be-a-translator. "He said 'So you think that Lupin's class is going to be any better than third year?'"

"Oh, I see…" muttered Ginny, once again looking at her brother.

Hermione, however, had teary eyes once again, when she realized that Harry was speaking about Lupin being sad about Sirius.

~ ~ ~

"Goddamnit!" muttered a very sleepy Sirius Black as he fell out of the cot he was sleeping in. He looked at the time and realized it was well past 10:00.

Swearing angrily at the bed, he got up and made himself some breakfast. He gnawed at the food happily.

~ ~ ~

"I HATE him!" yelled Ron for the third time that day, as the trio (Ginny was with the rest of the fifth years) made their way out of the Dungeons, having just sat through yet another horribly demeaning Potions lesson.

Harry nodded in agreement, and though Hermione secretly agreed, she didn't nod, in case they were being watched. Instead, she put on her prefect attitude.

"Ron, you really shouldn't talk about your elders like that. You are a _prefect_ after all."

Harry sniggered. "Yeah _Ron_, you're a _prefect_…"

Ron groaned. "We have Divination now, 'Mione, so we'd better be going."

"Yeah, by Herms." added Harry, as the two set off.

Hermione, however, had a free period, since the Arithmancy professor had been taken ill and there was no replacement. So, she decided she'd spend some alone time outside in the grounds.

She walked out through the large entrance. There was a slight wind, but it was of no worry; the cooling breeze felt rather nice.

She admired the beauty of the gardens. There were so many brilliant flowers, that could only be found in the wizarding world. And the beautiful statues stood majestically in all the right places. As she walked further, she noticed the Whomping Willow, and was painfully reminded of her memories there; that was the very place where they met Sirius. He had been in his dog form, and had dragged them into it, through a passage that led to the Shrieking Shack.

And how she wished she could see his friendly face again.

Tears began to fall from her cinnamon eyes onto her Hogwarts robe. She continued her walking, afraid that if she kept looking at the Whomping Willow, she would be overcome by depression.

And there, as if beckoning to her, stood Hagrid's Hut. Of course, it would be empty… at least that's what she thought. But it would be nice to see it once again. She went through the gate and put her hands on the cold knob.

'It's _locked_!' she thought with confusion. Without thinking twice, she knocked on the door.

~ ~ ~

Inside the hut, poor Sirius was panicking.

'Damnit!' he cursed mentally. 'Who the hell would come to the hut, after Hagrid left?!'

He hid behind the bed, knowing it was just a matter of time before…

"_Alohamora_!" muttered the voice on the other end, and the door opened slowly. Sirius grabbed the figure and re-locked the door. Ready to strike at any given moment, he released the person onto the cot.

"_Hermione_?" he asked suddenly.

She looked up at him and opened her mouth to scream before he covered her mouth with his hand. He sat down next to her.

"Yes, it's me, Sirius," he said quietly, "and you have to promise me not to make too much noise and not to tell _anyone_, not even Harry, Ron, or Remus."

She nodded, and he released her. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I… I… I thought… you… you were… de-"

"I did too," he interrupted, "but something really weird happened. I ripped that ribbon you gave me to pieces, mainly because I was pissed at the world, and then I found myself in the Ministry again."

She looked carefully at him, absorbing every feature, as if making sure it was really him. He reddened slightly as she touched his face with her hand, to see if he was real.

Accepting the truth, she put her arms around him and sobbed into his chest, and he patted her back awkwardly, not used to having teenage girls hugging him ever since he graduated from Hogwarts. ((**A/N** Siri was quite a girl magnet during his time… ^^))

He rocked her back and forth in his strong arms, and kissed the top of her forehead lightly.

She didn't want to let go.

And neither did he.

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~ ~ ~

A/N

*sniff sniff* How sweet… no… no romance yet… they're just hugging as friends… don't get any ideas… -_-;;

So I lied. From NOW on, there'll be less frequent updates. Yeah…

So how many of you actually signed that Memorial Book I told you about. If you didn't, the URL is littlemisswebmaster.co.uk/sirius and after you review my fic, you damn well better sign it. *grin*

Oh… *pats Sirius on head* Sirius says hi.

Sirius: *woof*

Fangirls: Awwww… *drool*

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Review Responses:

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nada! I'm not doing any this chapter because I can't seem to view my reviews right now… sorry peeps… T___T But the other day I saw some of them, and they were very sweet ^^ Expect some next chapter (hopefully) And keep reviewing! Don't miss me too much!

If you are impatient with the update, read my other fics, **More Than Just Friends**, **All For Nothing** (the sequel to MTJF), and **When Darkness Falls Upon Me**. They are all Harry Potter fics ^^ Check out my Potter webbie too… ****

Anyhow, catch ya later! ^^ AND REVIEW!!!

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